Christmas for separated families: Supporting parents who are without their children for Christmas

Christmas can be a difficult time for newly separated families.  It is a sad reality for separated families that there will often be one parent, and one extended family, who are not with their children for Christmas.  Where this is the first Christmas since separation this can be particularly hard as the thought of Christmas without your children can be foreign and miserable.

If you have children, grandchildren or extended family who may find themselves in this situation consider the following to help them through the day:-

• Encourage the parent to spend the day with family and friends and try to plan alternate activities for the parent - time spent alone will allow the parent more opportunity to dwell on what they are missing.  Involve the parent in your celebrations, and give them a job to do.

• Christmas is not just one day, celebrate on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day - for many, Christmas is about being with family and friends.  Be open to holding family celebrations on other days when the parent is spending time with the children and emphasize the benefits to the children of have two Christmas celebrations.

• Avoid conflict - above all support the parent to avoid conflict with the other parent over the Christmas period.  Avail yourself to assist with the collection or drop off of children from one parent to the other, and remind the parent of the importance of protecting their children from parental conflict.

• Be aware of the risks - during Christmas celebrations increased alcohol consumption can exacerbate already strained relationships and tense situations.  Watch out for the parent and help them avoid telephoning, text messaging or communicating on social media with, or about, the other parent after drinking, or otherwise doing or saying something that they will later regret.

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